EXPERIENCE THE GIVING UP

After very long silence I thought to write something, though I had many things to share in past years, the busy schedule and lack of supportive background discouraged and prevented me trying it. However I decided write again something after long time. The lake can retain water as long as water reaches to its bunt’s height.  When water reaches its bunt’s height it starts overflow. I think my long silence has also filled my mind with many of things that took place in the past and now reached to over flow. So I decided to let it flow  freely as it wishes to flow.

Have you seen water is overflowing from a bowl or pot? The water added last will flow out first. So I also thought sharing with you the most recent things that influenced me. Nowadays Sri Lanka is celebrating the “Vesak Festival” with commemorating the Lord Buddha’s birth, enlightenment and passing away. Within this period many things are happening on this land, from lighting an oil lamp to displaying giant pandols  with thousand of colorful bulbs and attractive pictures drawn on Buddha’s life, from giving little thing to providing free food and drinks to thousands of people who are on pilgrims at nicely built temporary tents at waysides.  These things only take place in Sri Lanka. Wherever you travel all over the world you never get such experience.  It is only at Sri Lanka.

Anyway my aim is not to talk about beauty, joy or glamour of “Vesak  Festival”. I am just to bring very important matter to limelight that runs under all these visible and touchable things. It is the “art of giving up”. Some people who are believed in Buddhism do things merely by faith. It is not bad thing. There is a reason to say that faith is not bad thing.  That reason is if someone from these people are need rationally understand this “art of giving up” Lord Buddha’s preaching helps them to understand it logically understand and follow. Such people are practicing the “art of giving up” with wisdom as that was taught by Lord Buddha. Whatever is the reason that lead people to practice “giving up”, it is not as easy as it seems. Giving the best is the way of real giving. Giving what you love most is the real giving.  Giving what you have excess is not a real giving up.  According to Lord Buddha’s teaching givers mindset is very important in the giving up process. Other important thing is the thing or object that we give. The thing that we give should be a thing earned through righteous and proper way.  Finally to be perfect of giving the receiver also should be highly appropriate to receive that.

If everyone of this world can practice this everyday everywhere all over the world, this earth will be the paradise that filled with happiness, joy and beauty.

Look at it through Johari window

I had a lot on my plate in the last week with some official and personal matters. Among all, attending my sister’s house-warming ceremony was also a compulsory matter.  It was an all-night religious activity. She had invited to very close kindred. Though I am loathed to attend such events, there was no way to miss it. Hence, I was there to mark my presence too.  

Apart from being in a busy atmosphere, that had been provided an opportunity for relatives to meet after several years. Undoubtedly, that opportunity was used by them to optimum and talk about anything as they wish.

While the religious activities were going on inside the house, visitors were having bull sessions in a tent built to accommodate people who burn the midnight oil until dawn.  After many short-length discussions, our clique was talking about their close call driving experiences.  One of my uncles was telling us about his experience of falling to sleep while he was driving.  Many others who were listening to this responded with their experiences and advice as well. Amidst all these talks, one person wanted to know something related to sleeping. That unexpected question was a point that turned the discussion is upside down.

“What organ of the body sleeps first when you badly need to sleep?”

This question was raised by one of my relatives, and it was sharp-edged to keep the whole area at pinpoint silence for a few seconds.

The silence was ended with a load of answers. Everyone rushed to tell an answer. Among the many of the mentioned body organs, my answer was the ball of the eye. Unfortunately, he did not accept any of our answers as correct.

In parallel to the refusals of our answers, we heated with a boiling interest to know the correct answer from this man runs a small business for livelihood.  

From the demographic point of view, the vast majority of that discussion group was knowledgeable or economically successful people. Ignoring such social or civil status, a simple question had turned all of them helpless. 

Johari Window Model

That atmosphere sparked my mind and recalled me about the “Johari Window” model. That situation and people's behavior was a real example of that model. All were acting their roles as explained in the model. How nice it to see things from a bird's view when all others trying to prove their viewpoint is correct and prove their intelligence. 

Johari window is a very impressive model to study to understand the importance of self-awareness in an environment where group activities and discussions are happening. It has been a widely discussed theory at interpersonal communication and social-behavioral platforms since it concentrates on an important part of individual perception and versatility of dealing with others. Two psychologists had been created this model in 1955 at California University. The name "Johary" has come to this model since it had been invented and developed by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham.

In my point of view, the Johari model has based on two legs. One leg is representing your knowledge. The Other leg represents your ability to acquire information from others. It pushes us to move beyond the two-way communication process. The Johari model brings some very essential characteristics into the limelight that needed for effective interpersonal communication. This signifies having trustworthy, intelligent, efficient, and effective relationships for exchanging useful information between two persons or more perhaps. Without the above personal traits were not worked as signifiers, the acquisition of the trust of the other person will not be an easy task. Revealing your information about yourself through feedback by others is a consequence of the first action's success.

This model suggests four areas to concentrate on when acquiring knowledge or expressing knowledge. Every person has an area they can work with confidence. It calls an open area to that particular person. Perhaps, that person may perform alone within that frame, since he or she is well aware of all matters in that area. Except for this area, there are three more areas to be concerned by everyone. In the Johari window model, these areas are called hidden, blind, and unknown areas.

I suppose the person who asked about the human organ that leads the person to sleep raised a question that belongs to the area not open to any of in the clique. Unfortunately, it was not an era available easy access to the internet too. Hence, all had been stuck in their blind, hidden, or unknown areas with that question.

When all the big people in a helpless state, that man became the star in the scene. Among the people who are known what is not known to them, this person was a pretentious expert since he knew an answer. In a scenario, if all are blind and unknown something, even a wrong may become a correct one. That was what happened there.

According to that person, the answer was the ear. He said, “before the eyes close our ear stops sending messages to the brain”.

Until now, I did not check the answer is correct or wrong. I was mostly inspired by the Johari Window Model experience rather than finding its accuracy. 

What body part sleep first? .. Ears...!!! I don’t know what I don’t know...😀😀  But I know, Johari The window Model works well even after seven decades. 💪👌👍

That makes you a leader...

Some school of thought says leaders are born. Some of others say leaders are made. Whatsoever, leaders are leaders. Hence, it is worthwhile studying what traits and qualities have made them as leaders, instead of arguing on it. 

As defined, all the great leaders have ability to mobilize human energy and create environments that inspire individuals and groups to achieve their full potential. If you have monitored winning leaders, you might be able to recognize some exceptional qualities in them. Those are the traits place them above from the rest. We can categorize those traits in to 10 main areas. 

If you also one of dreaming to be future leaders. Be insisting on those qualities because that can make you a leader. Certainly, these “Golden Traits” can make you an exceptional person from the rest of average people. 

Rule #1. Leader knows about himself. 

Leaders should know what type of persons they are and about their own qualities, characteristics, strengths and weaknesses. What they are doing and they want to do. What others are expecting from him? 

Rule #2. Leader knows well about associate members 

Leader has better understanding about members of the team. Leader knows about members’ attributes, knowledge, experience, skills, and attitudes. This understanding enhances the leader’s ability to find right person for right job and lead the team to achieve its objectives. 

Rule#3. Leader utilizes command prudently. 

Leader is the hub when work with group of individuals. Leader is the controlling point and manages the smart individuals as well as weak subordinates. Great leaders use their power for the benefit of team but without embarrassing others by it

. 

Rule#4. Leader sees the picture clearly. 

Leader knows where he should go with his team and what he should have to accomplish. He sees the positive and negative sides. He has ability to evaluate failures and achievements accurately. Never drive their teams to celebrate fake victories. They see the things in right form, take right decision, and lead the team to success. 

Rule#5. Leader set examples. 

True leaders play their roles properly. Their dedication, determination and discipline set examples to others. Though leader is not multi skilled person necessarily, should be a reliable person to the team in every sense. 

Rule#6. Leader delegates power and responsibility. 

Good leaders know to network the team through sharing the responsibility and delegating power with members. This exercise builds faith in member and makes them feel they are recognized. That will induce them to perform well their roles in the team. 

Rule#7. Leader communicates effectively. 

Communication effectiveness is the thumb rule of leadership. Without communication, skills never can be a leader. Leader has big role to play as good communicator within the team as well as out of it. We cannot find any leader from history poor in communication skills. It is that much important and compulsory for any leader. 

Rule#8. Leader is good Architect. 

The planning skill of a Leader enhances the ability of visualizing the result. Therefore, leaders are well aware of materials and mechanism of making that idea in to reality. 

Rule#9. Leader guards the team. 

True leaders act valiantly when moving the team towards failure or danger. They face the challenges with confidence while encouraging and empowering the members to conquer the failure and drive to victory. 

Rule#10. Leader makes leaders. 

Great teachers, guides and facilitators are living in all good leaders. They have burning desire in developing people. They work hard to groom second line leadership. 

By Wasantha Tennakoon